catalyst of demise (xcatalystx) wrote,
catalyst of demise

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down and out.

can i get a fucking break, for real? im sick of things never going my way. sick of people hiding behind a computer. sick of people being so unbelievably, even shockingly, egotistical. or is it egoistic? both i guess. sick of being so curious. more sick of not having answers to assuage me. sick of being up, and its only nine thirty am. three hours of sleep. up at six. waiting and waiting. thinking. the audacity. stop.
im ready for my professional life to begin. for the second time. no. for the third time. im sick of people not being there.
i miss my room mates. not a day goes by that i dont think about boston. and the new year makes me think of this past year. and how schizophrenic it all was, not literally, but as metaphorical personification. why did i make certain choices? and i wish i didnt learn certain things about myself through those choices. i mostly like it better in the dark.
and i desperately need a hobby. which is why im going to take up karate, or some martial art.
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